Roots

I was getting ready for bed when my husband laid down next to me to talk. A lot had been on my mind, mostly that I wasn't happy. We started talking about why and it came down to the fact that I haven't accomplished anything or been the best in anything. For me is began to boil down to my running.

In college I injured my IT band and haven't been able to run for than 2 miles without it hurting. As a result, the rest of my life changed. Not being able to run was probably one of the most devastating things for me because I love running. As a result, I've gained weight and have not been happy. I don't have those endorphins firing off.

Jon and I decided to try yet again to get started on a routine for running. He's going to help me get started. I want to be a runner again, but I'm scared. We agreed to do a couple things. First - I can't compare myself to my previous self. This one will be hard, but I can try. As a way to adhere to that rule I decided I couldn't use a stop watch until I was able to run 3 miles without walking. And second, I have to listen to Jon when he says we're going to exercise - no excuses.

I'm starting small. Starting with a mile and getting to where I can run that without walking. Then increasing it to 2 miles. Once I can get that down, I'll increase it to 3 miles. One I get to running that, I'll add a stopwatch and start to train to become competitive.

I'm excited but scared to get started. However, running seems to be at the root of my unhappiness.