Friday night I laid down in bed ready to get a full night's sleep before the race on Saturday. My husband instantly fell asleep. Sleep, however, eluded me. My nerves were going crazy. I heard myself questioning myself. I couldn't shut my mind off. It kept running around and around the idea of my first 5k being the next day. Eventually I fell asleep only to wake up several times throughout the night. I woke up at 7 feeling exhausted, wishing I didn't have a race and that I could just fall back asleep in my warm comfortable bed.
But it was time to get up. Quickly I showered knowing it would take a while to French braid my hair. It took longer than I expected. For some reason, my hair and hands just wouldn't cooperate. It had been a while since I had done this pre-race ritual, which was evident in my interestingly braided hair.
We got into the car to drive to the race site. My heart beating so quickly I thought it would jump out of my chest. We checked in, pinned on our numbers, put our race t-shirt in the car, and set out to jog around to get warmed up. When it came to stretching I couldn't remember what my pre-race routine was. Finally I felt ready, but we still had 20 minutes until the race began. Then the rain began to come down.
Time ticked slowly by. I was ready to get running, but the race hadn't started yet. Finally we all walked to the starting line.
"Runners! Take your mark!" BANG! The gun fired and we were off. I found a pace that seemed to feel good, so we kept it for the most part. We passed the first mile marker at 10 minutes 11 seconds. A little bit further, my mind games started. It was a good thing Jon was right there beside me encouraging me every step of the way. As we approached the mile 2 marker, I found myself saying "I can't." Jon responded, "Yes, you can." Once we passed the second mile marker I had a hard time convincing myself I could do it. It became a struggle for me resulting in walking several times. Then my knee started hurting, a result of my IT band. Finally we passed the marker for mile 3. Only 0.1 miles left. I saw the finish and lengthened my stride. We got closer. Jon and I started sprinting, hoping to beat the other. We got close to the final turn and I moved left thinking I was farther ahead of Jon than I was. As a result, I bumped him making him slow down. I finished.
My time was 35:27. It certainly wasn't an award-winning time, but that didn't matter. What mattered was that I finished. I won because I finished. It was my first race back. Jon reminded me on the drive home, "There's only up from here."
I don't know how I would have done if he hadn't been beside me encouraging me. I do know now that I am more determined to run more consistently and run more miles in order to have a better time for my next race. When that race will be, I don't know, but it will happen and when it does I will beat Saturday's time of 35:27. I will run the whole time. I will not say "I can't." I will finish with a better time, a better attitude, and a better overall experience. I will finish.
Monday, August 31, 2009
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
The Perfect Time For Enjoying A Run
Yesterday was a bit chaotic. After getting home after a long day of work (really it just seemed long), I quickly made dinner, having it done and on the table just as my husband got home. After prayer, I quickly began eating, excited to go to a women's event for church. After a little more than an hour and a half, I headed home.
Jon and I had discussed going running when I got home, which was about 8:15 pm. We left about 10 minutes after I got home to go for a run. We started out at what felt like a brisk pace, and it felt good! We jogged to the mile marker, 9:55, and we turned around and ran back. We arrived back at our starting point at 19:33, which turns out to be 17 seconds faster on the return trip.
It wasn't my time that made me feel great. It wasn't the fact that I ran the whole time. It was that I had found a great time to go running. I've tried running when I get home from work, but usually then I'm hungry, it's warm, and I just need some time to relax. Running after 8 pm allowed plenty of time for my dinner to settle, allowed time for the temperature to cool, and allowed time for me to relax prior to running.
Previously I would use all 3 as excuses to run slower or to walk or to not go at all. Hunger was used as an excuse not to run. The temperature was an excuse to run slower or walk. Coming straight from work was used as an excuse to not go running or to just walk so I can vent my frustrations.
Little did I know that by waiting a few hours between work and running that not only would those excuses become useless, but I would feel better while I ran. The whole time I ran I felt good. I didn't feel tired. I wasn't thinking of excuses to walk or slow down. For the first time in a while, I enjoyed my run. I actually enjoyed it. To me, that is what running is all about, enjoying something you do.
Jon and I had discussed going running when I got home, which was about 8:15 pm. We left about 10 minutes after I got home to go for a run. We started out at what felt like a brisk pace, and it felt good! We jogged to the mile marker, 9:55, and we turned around and ran back. We arrived back at our starting point at 19:33, which turns out to be 17 seconds faster on the return trip.
It wasn't my time that made me feel great. It wasn't the fact that I ran the whole time. It was that I had found a great time to go running. I've tried running when I get home from work, but usually then I'm hungry, it's warm, and I just need some time to relax. Running after 8 pm allowed plenty of time for my dinner to settle, allowed time for the temperature to cool, and allowed time for me to relax prior to running.
Previously I would use all 3 as excuses to run slower or to walk or to not go at all. Hunger was used as an excuse not to run. The temperature was an excuse to run slower or walk. Coming straight from work was used as an excuse to not go running or to just walk so I can vent my frustrations.
Little did I know that by waiting a few hours between work and running that not only would those excuses become useless, but I would feel better while I ran. The whole time I ran I felt good. I didn't feel tired. I wasn't thinking of excuses to walk or slow down. For the first time in a while, I enjoyed my run. I actually enjoyed it. To me, that is what running is all about, enjoying something you do.
Monday, August 24, 2009
A Boost of Confidence
Last Thursday I officially signed up for a 5k run, the first I've done in several years. I don't expect it to be phenomenal, but I signed up partly due to my husband's prodding and partly to prove to myself I can still run a 5k. I'm nervous to say the least.
The course is going to be through a neighborhood and appears mostly flat, which I am looking forward to since I haven't done much training.
I know Jon will be running right beside me the whole time encouraging me. I feel like I'm holding him back, but I know it helps him feel good about helping me out. He's so amazing. I'm looking forward to starting and finishing the race with him.
I think finishing the race will be a big dose of encouragement to me. A boost of confidence. I know that once I finish that race I need to sign up for another one; it will help me stay committed.
However, for the time being, I'm nervous.
The course is going to be through a neighborhood and appears mostly flat, which I am looking forward to since I haven't done much training.
I know Jon will be running right beside me the whole time encouraging me. I feel like I'm holding him back, but I know it helps him feel good about helping me out. He's so amazing. I'm looking forward to starting and finishing the race with him.
I think finishing the race will be a big dose of encouragement to me. A boost of confidence. I know that once I finish that race I need to sign up for another one; it will help me stay committed.
However, for the time being, I'm nervous.
Monday, August 17, 2009
In the words of Emeril Lagasse....
On Saturday my husband and I went for a jog. We were only going to do about 2 miles. The run on the way out went fine. It was a little slow -- 10:23 on the way out. However, the run back was worse. I felt myself giving up, slowing down, wanting to walk. Jon said something to me and I snapped at him. All he said was "you're doing great," but I felt like a failure. I felt he was patronizing me, and I didn't like it, and I let him know it.
Using it as an excuse, I stopped running and started walking. Now, I know any exercise is better than none, but I was perfectly capable of running the rest of the way.
After we finished our "run," we walked back to our apartment. (Total time: 22:52.) I apologized after I cooled down. And then came the revelation...
I don't push myself very far, I settle. I talked about how in all my running career I've done just enough.
My first year of cross country I didn't push myself, I was already the fastest on the girls' team, which wasn't saying much. My second year of cross country, I was frustrated by a faster teammate, and while I did push myself a little more, it was never enough to do much. My third and final year, I was determined to make it to state. Somehow or another I tapped into a fast vein. I had come to grips with having a faster teammate, and once I got over the jealousy, we helped push each other. Throughout the season I got better and ended up with a 19:59 for a 5k race. I was ecstatic! When it came time for districts, I had to be in the top 10 to go to state. Again, I did just enough, placing 10th at districts, qualifying for state but not going for a better position. State came and with it I lost my fast vein. Whatever had motivated me to run faster was gone and I didn't know how to get it back. I placed 47th. My teammate placed 10th with a time of 19:59, my time just two or three weeks prior! I felt disappointed, but when you do just enough, you can't expect to be the best.
Track was the same story. My first year, junior year, I ran the 2-mile mostly. At districts, I placed high enough to run at regionals. At regionals, top 5 go to state but only the top 4 run with the 5th being an alternate. I ran the race in 6th place most of the time. With 2 laps to go, my coach told me to go for it and to catch the girl in front of me. I ran faster those last 2 laps and eventually passed her with about 100 yards left in the race. I placed 5th, which made me the alternate. While it was exciting going to state, I didn't get to run. My senior year was along the same old lines....doing just enough. Most of the season I ran a 13 minute 2-mile. At regionals, my coach told me to run with my teammate, who was really fast. I ran behind her the whole time pacing her. I finished 2nd with a time of 12:06. 12:06!! My best prior to that was 12:56. At the time I thought it was awesome. Looking back, I realize how lazy I had been in other races. I could have done better, placed higher, and could have had a better personal record. A week later at state I placed 8th. Only the top 8 placed, so when I started the race I made sure I was in 8th place and didn't let anyone pass me, nor did I pass anyone else. I ended up running 2 seconds faster and placed 8th, again doing just enough.
It seems that in my life I always do just enough, never pushing for more. In school it was the same old story. I hadn't really thought about it much until I was walking home after my run on Saturday.
In conclusion, I'm going to work on getting better at pushing myself, doing more than necessary. I'm going to go above and beyond in running, in work, in life. It's time I set a pace that pushes me almost to the breaking point, pushing me to become someone better. In the words of Emeril Lagasse....it's time I kick it up a notch!
Using it as an excuse, I stopped running and started walking. Now, I know any exercise is better than none, but I was perfectly capable of running the rest of the way.
After we finished our "run," we walked back to our apartment. (Total time: 22:52.) I apologized after I cooled down. And then came the revelation...
I don't push myself very far, I settle. I talked about how in all my running career I've done just enough.
My first year of cross country I didn't push myself, I was already the fastest on the girls' team, which wasn't saying much. My second year of cross country, I was frustrated by a faster teammate, and while I did push myself a little more, it was never enough to do much. My third and final year, I was determined to make it to state. Somehow or another I tapped into a fast vein. I had come to grips with having a faster teammate, and once I got over the jealousy, we helped push each other. Throughout the season I got better and ended up with a 19:59 for a 5k race. I was ecstatic! When it came time for districts, I had to be in the top 10 to go to state. Again, I did just enough, placing 10th at districts, qualifying for state but not going for a better position. State came and with it I lost my fast vein. Whatever had motivated me to run faster was gone and I didn't know how to get it back. I placed 47th. My teammate placed 10th with a time of 19:59, my time just two or three weeks prior! I felt disappointed, but when you do just enough, you can't expect to be the best.
Track was the same story. My first year, junior year, I ran the 2-mile mostly. At districts, I placed high enough to run at regionals. At regionals, top 5 go to state but only the top 4 run with the 5th being an alternate. I ran the race in 6th place most of the time. With 2 laps to go, my coach told me to go for it and to catch the girl in front of me. I ran faster those last 2 laps and eventually passed her with about 100 yards left in the race. I placed 5th, which made me the alternate. While it was exciting going to state, I didn't get to run. My senior year was along the same old lines....doing just enough. Most of the season I ran a 13 minute 2-mile. At regionals, my coach told me to run with my teammate, who was really fast. I ran behind her the whole time pacing her. I finished 2nd with a time of 12:06. 12:06!! My best prior to that was 12:56. At the time I thought it was awesome. Looking back, I realize how lazy I had been in other races. I could have done better, placed higher, and could have had a better personal record. A week later at state I placed 8th. Only the top 8 placed, so when I started the race I made sure I was in 8th place and didn't let anyone pass me, nor did I pass anyone else. I ended up running 2 seconds faster and placed 8th, again doing just enough.
It seems that in my life I always do just enough, never pushing for more. In school it was the same old story. I hadn't really thought about it much until I was walking home after my run on Saturday.
In conclusion, I'm going to work on getting better at pushing myself, doing more than necessary. I'm going to go above and beyond in running, in work, in life. It's time I set a pace that pushes me almost to the breaking point, pushing me to become someone better. In the words of Emeril Lagasse....it's time I kick it up a notch!
Thursday, August 13, 2009
My biggest struggle when it comes to exercising is motivation. I decide at the beginning of the day that I'm going to exercise and as the day progresses, my criticism increases as well. I begin thinking that I can't do it. Excuses flood my mind. "I would rather watch TV." "I'm too tired." "It's been a stressful day." "I just want to relax."
Every day it's the same old thing. Fortunately this week my husband is home and daily asks me when we're going for our walk. We walked a little on Saturday, about a mile on Sunday, an undetermined amount on Monday (we went to a park), 2 miles on Tuesday, and a short 1/2 mile walk yesterday. I guess it's good that I'm doing some, even if it's just a half mile. Something is better than nothing.
Yesterday's walk almost didn't happen. It was pouring when I got home, and I wasn't about to get soaked. Finally around 9 pm the skies cleared long enough for us to take a short walk. It felt good to get out and about.
Today I'm going to go for at least a mile walk after work and before dinner. This will allow me to de-stress and get it done before I get busy making dinner, cleaning, and watching TV. Plus it will give me time to talk to Jon while we walk. That's one thing I really enjoy about walking with Jon is the chance to just talk without too many distractions, without trying to squeeze it in between commercials.
Every day it's the same old thing. Fortunately this week my husband is home and daily asks me when we're going for our walk. We walked a little on Saturday, about a mile on Sunday, an undetermined amount on Monday (we went to a park), 2 miles on Tuesday, and a short 1/2 mile walk yesterday. I guess it's good that I'm doing some, even if it's just a half mile. Something is better than nothing.
Yesterday's walk almost didn't happen. It was pouring when I got home, and I wasn't about to get soaked. Finally around 9 pm the skies cleared long enough for us to take a short walk. It felt good to get out and about.
Today I'm going to go for at least a mile walk after work and before dinner. This will allow me to de-stress and get it done before I get busy making dinner, cleaning, and watching TV. Plus it will give me time to talk to Jon while we walk. That's one thing I really enjoy about walking with Jon is the chance to just talk without too many distractions, without trying to squeeze it in between commercials.
Friday, August 7, 2009
Day 3 - Nothing
Day 3 I didn't run. Yesterday was a very stressful day. And yet again I'm making excuses about not running. I passed through a whirlwind the last couple hours at work, being blown from task to task, quickly and swiftly. After taking bank deposits to 3 different banks, I swung by the store to get groceries. I quickly made it through the store and finally made it home feeling exhausted. I decided I was going to skip running because I was exhausted and I wanted to just sit and watch Gilmore Girls.
I knew the best thing to do was to exercise, but I didn't want to. My laziness proved stronger than my will to exercise. I regret missing that 3rd day, but that seems to be my M.O. I exercise for a couple days and then stop. I need to find a way to change this.
Jon comes home today, so maybe I can convince him to go for a long walk tonight to get some exercise in. I know he's been hiking all week long, but he's supportive of me exercising, so I think he will be willing to go with me.
Day 3 Accomplishments:
None.
Day 4 (Fri) Goals:
1. Walk for a mile total.
Day 5 (Sat) Goals:
1. Walk 2 miles.
Day 6 (Sun) Goals:
1. Walk 1.5 miles.
I have listed the goals for the weekend because I am rarely online then. Hopefully this time I can get those goals, which I should easily be able to accomplish those goals, provided I don't play the lazy card again.
I knew the best thing to do was to exercise, but I didn't want to. My laziness proved stronger than my will to exercise. I regret missing that 3rd day, but that seems to be my M.O. I exercise for a couple days and then stop. I need to find a way to change this.
Jon comes home today, so maybe I can convince him to go for a long walk tonight to get some exercise in. I know he's been hiking all week long, but he's supportive of me exercising, so I think he will be willing to go with me.
Day 3 Accomplishments:
None.
Day 4 (Fri) Goals:
1. Walk for a mile total.
Day 5 (Sat) Goals:
1. Walk 2 miles.
Day 6 (Sun) Goals:
1. Walk 1.5 miles.
I have listed the goals for the weekend because I am rarely online then. Hopefully this time I can get those goals, which I should easily be able to accomplish those goals, provided I don't play the lazy card again.
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Day 2 - 1 mile 15:08
I arrived at home determined to go for a run outside. It was just as warm as the day before -- 93 degrees -- but I was going to do it. I walked over to the trail and started jogging. Immediately a battle ensued. My mental game is still not working properly. Part of me wants to run faster, part of me wants to walk. I maintain a slower pace I set for myself, fighting the urge to go faster.
After a few minutes, I start walking. I feel defeated at not getting my goal to run the whole time, but then again, I'm just beginning again. I walk for a little while and then jog a little. This routine continues until I get to the half mile mark. I decide to turn around and head back. Another goal is not completed (running to the mile marker), but I'm just beginning and a mile total is still good.
My "run" finishes as I arrive at the apartment complex. 1 mile in 15:08. Not bad, but not quite where I want to be, but I'll get there.
Day 2 Accomplishments:
1. Exercised for 15 minutes.
2. Ran/walked a mile.
Day 3 Goals:
1. Run to the half mile mark, walk to the mile marker, turn around and run to the half mile mark, and walk the remaining half mile.
2. Relax and enjoy the run/walk.
After a few minutes, I start walking. I feel defeated at not getting my goal to run the whole time, but then again, I'm just beginning again. I walk for a little while and then jog a little. This routine continues until I get to the half mile mark. I decide to turn around and head back. Another goal is not completed (running to the mile marker), but I'm just beginning and a mile total is still good.
My "run" finishes as I arrive at the apartment complex. 1 mile in 15:08. Not bad, but not quite where I want to be, but I'll get there.
Day 2 Accomplishments:
1. Exercised for 15 minutes.
2. Ran/walked a mile.
Day 3 Goals:
1. Run to the half mile mark, walk to the mile marker, turn around and run to the half mile mark, and walk the remaining half mile.
2. Relax and enjoy the run/walk.
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
Day 1 Struggles
All throughout the work day I was ready and determined to get home and run. I was debating, however, whether to try running outside on the paved trail or whether to run on the treadmill in the air conditioned room. I decided the treadmill since it was 93 degrees when I got off work.
I get home and as soon as I walk in the door I'm hit with my first temptation to pass on running. It's pretty bad when it's day 1 and I don't want to go. However, I knew that I needed to. So, after reading my Bible, I got changed and walked to the workout room. The treadmill was available. I turned on the AC and hopped on the machine.
I turned up the speed to 5.0 and then 5.5. It felt good at first, but then my mental game lost. I started doubting my abilities to run. I started dragging myself down, telling myself I couldn't do it, I couldn't run further. I slowed down to a speed walk only to get frustrated with myself. Back to 5.5. I look at the time and the distance and realize my pace is worse than a 10 minute mile pace. I bumped it up to 6. I felt defeated. I bumped the speed to 7. A longer stride and I felt good.
But then my left hip and my right knee started hurting. (This is the same knee that I injured in college.) I lowered my speed. Finally I stopped. Giving up for the day. I had run for 9 minutes, 12 seconds for a distance of 0.77 miles. I was disappointed. However, I at least gave it a shot.
Today I've decided that I'm going to run outside. I know I tend to run at a slower pace when I'm on the road, but at least there I know that once I run out, I have to run back as well. It's not like the treadmill where I can get off at any moment.
Day 1 Accomplishments:
1. Ignored my excuses and ran.
2. I ran 0.77 miles in 9:12.
Day 2 Goals:
1. Run outside.
2. Run to mile marker on trail and back.
3. Run the entire time, even if I have to go at a slower pace.
I get home and as soon as I walk in the door I'm hit with my first temptation to pass on running. It's pretty bad when it's day 1 and I don't want to go. However, I knew that I needed to. So, after reading my Bible, I got changed and walked to the workout room. The treadmill was available. I turned on the AC and hopped on the machine.
I turned up the speed to 5.0 and then 5.5. It felt good at first, but then my mental game lost. I started doubting my abilities to run. I started dragging myself down, telling myself I couldn't do it, I couldn't run further. I slowed down to a speed walk only to get frustrated with myself. Back to 5.5. I look at the time and the distance and realize my pace is worse than a 10 minute mile pace. I bumped it up to 6. I felt defeated. I bumped the speed to 7. A longer stride and I felt good.
But then my left hip and my right knee started hurting. (This is the same knee that I injured in college.) I lowered my speed. Finally I stopped. Giving up for the day. I had run for 9 minutes, 12 seconds for a distance of 0.77 miles. I was disappointed. However, I at least gave it a shot.
Today I've decided that I'm going to run outside. I know I tend to run at a slower pace when I'm on the road, but at least there I know that once I run out, I have to run back as well. It's not like the treadmill where I can get off at any moment.
Day 1 Accomplishments:
1. Ignored my excuses and ran.
2. I ran 0.77 miles in 9:12.
Day 2 Goals:
1. Run outside.
2. Run to mile marker on trail and back.
3. Run the entire time, even if I have to go at a slower pace.
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
The Beginning of my Run
I read a blog today about an older man running (http://oldmanrunning.org/) and it inspired me to change my blog. Mostly my blog has been about my complaints about my job, my husband, and various other things, but that's all about to change. Today I decided I'm going to blog about my journey back to running. Here's some history:
Freshman year in high school (2000): I was going to join the cross country team with my brother, but I chickened out. He told me their races were 3.1 miles long, and at that point in my life I thought it was a long ways. We had been running together all summer; I usually only ran about a mile or mile and a half round trip, not much, but better than nothing. So instead of XC, I did volleyball (I had played it for a year in junior high and enjoyed it). Occasionally during practices we would do the mile run or run downtown. I was always at the front. I remember one day in particular. All of the volleyball players, varsity included, went out to the track to run the mile. I stayed right up front with the older girls, finishing second or third overall, with the top 3 all running next to each other. My time was about 5:30. The XC team had been stretching and warming up the whole time we were running. The XC coach was impressed, or so my brother told me later. I finished the volleyball season determined to not do it next year but to join the XC team.
Sophomore year (2001): I joined the XC team, and much to my surprise, 3 other girls did. (There hadn't been a girls XC team in a few years.) I was the fastest out of the 4 of us; however, my best time was around 24 or 25 minutes. The season ended with only 1 guy going to State. The following spring I played softball (I had played since I started in tee-ball and was a pretty good catcher). However, the season was different. It wasn't fun, so after practice I started going up the track to learn how to pole vault with my brother. On Saturdays before my practice, I would run with the track team. (I never ended up pole vaulting once I did join track.)
Junior year (2002): I was excited for XC. We were supposed to have a really fast freshman girl on our team. I knew this would help me become a better runner. Sure enough, my time improved. My average time dropped about a minute by the end of the season. It was nice having someone to run with who could push me. That year, only my brother Josh (the same one mentioned twice above) went to state. He placed 5th at state. The spring began and I joined track. Instantly I knew I was happier. I ran the mile, 2-mile, and the 4x4. (I am not a sprinter, so the 4x4 was hard for me.) At our regional track meet I placed 5th in the 2-mile, which allowed me to go to State as the Regional Alternate. I was excited to go, even if I was most likely not going to compete. Sure enough, I didn't compete, but I was there.
Senior year fall semester (2003): This was my year I had decided. My fast "freshman" teammate was on the team yet again and we decided it was time for a girl to go to state, so we pushed ourselves. My teammate always ran faster than I did, but it pushed me, and she told me I pushed her (usually with my words more than my speed). We were a great pair. She won several races that season and placed in the top 10 almost every time. I didn't, but my time did get better. Finally we were at a meet that determined district teams (not that the teams really matter, it was more for ranking purposes), and it was on our home course. (I'm getting butterflies just thinking about it!) We ran hard with her finishing 1st and me 7th! Not only that, but we both ran under 20 minutes. She ran 19:27 (or something like that) and I ran 19:59! Yes, it's only 1 second under 20 minutes, but under is under! We went to the District race, the one that determined who would go to state. Only the top 10 in our race went to state, and we were determined. Running hard in 30 degree weather in shorts and tank tops, we both placed in the top 10, her placing 2nd and me placing 9th if I remember correctly. State was two weeks later and we were pumped. We were the only 2 from our school who made it, but our teammates were extremely supportive and encouraging. At state, my teammate ran my time of 19:59 and placed 10th. I ran 22:02 and placed 47th. Overall, it was a great race and a great memory.
Senior year spring semester (2004): The 2-mile became my race. Again, I had a teammate who was a freshman who was very fast. All season long I ran around 13 minutes for a 2 mile, my best was 12:56. At our regional track meet my coach told me to run with my freshman teammate up front. I did. I followed right behind here all 8 laps finishing in a time of 12:06, beating my best time by 50 seconds! I was astounded and my coach was excited. I didn't know I had it in me. State was the next week. I went in ranked 9th and only the top 8 podium/get a medal. I kept a pretty good pace and ended up in 8th place. I didn't let anyone pass me and yet I didn't pass anyone either. I remained in 8th place. I finished in 8th place, but I finished with a time of 12:04! My personal best in the 2-mile. My freshman teammate placed 1st. But that didn't bother me. I was excited we both placed. It was kind of humorous, she was first on the podium and I was last on the podium, but we were both on it. It was a great way to end the season and my high school running career.
College (2004): I began college anxious like anyone else, but excited too. I met a couple of my xc teammates; I even shared my Cheerios with one girl. We were excited to being our college running careers. The first day began with a morning run. The girls ran a hilly dirt trail on campus. It felt good when we were done. Later that day we had another run. At some point during the run, my right knee started to hurt. I didn't think anything of it because with running you're bound to have a little pain every now and again. By the end of the run, I could barely run on it. The next day I went to the trainer's office only to find out I had injured my illiotibial band (IT Band). As a result I spent the rest of the season in the trainer's office getting deep tissues massages and training to exercise on the elliptical. Finally the decision to take a year off running was made, and it broke my heart. Running had been my passion; I loved it, and now I wasn't able to do it.
The rest of college I didn't run except every now and again when I decided I was going to start again. I used the busyness of life as an excuse not to run. It was no longer a priority. As a result I gained weight. I'm no longer the 120 pound girl. As of last night I was 146.8 pounds, which does not look good on a 5'4" woman.
Now it's time to begin again, and this time it's going to stick. I'm going to run every day regardless of what is going on. I need to get back to a better weight and back to a fast pace. It's my goal to run a 5k again in under 25 minutes. It's my goal to run a half-marathon. It's my goal to run a marathon. It's my goal to restart my running life.
Spinning in a Hamster Wheel
Sunday afternoon I was hit with the flu. It started out as a headache and developed into something worse. Eventually I was spending more time in the bathroom than I wanted. My loving husband graciously got cold wash cloths for me; he even put one in the fridge to get really cool. Once the one on my head was no longer cool he would switch it out.
Monday morning I woke up still not feeling well, so I stayed home from work. I didn't throw up again, but I still did not feel well. The fever had left, but the headache lingered. Unfortunately, Jon had to leave that morning for yet another backpacking trip. I cried knowing he wasn't there to take care of me.
As I laid on the couch all day watching episode after episode of Gilmore Girls I started to think about work. It was then that I knew I didn't want to work full time anymore. I opened Excel and looked at the spreadsheet I made estimated our monthly expenses and our estimated income we needed to pay those expenses. After taking out Jon's current income, the math works that I could make a third of what I'm making now and everything would be covered.
Now it's just a matter of whether I want to work part time at my current job or at a different job. I really need to talk to Jon about it too since it affects him. Most likely at my current job I wouldn't work part time until after I finished automating our CAMs (Common Area Maintenance), which is supposed to be done before the year is done...we'll see how that goes.
I know I probably won't leave this job until after the CAMs are automated. I guess I feel like I have to be here until that is done, since I did the manual CAMs this year and it would take too long to train someone else on that. So, I feel responsible for that; however, once I complete that I will be able to use that as a good example of my work.
As nice as the idea of working part time appeals to me, most likely I will continue working full time until I have kids for two reasons: 1. Money -- Extra money can be used to pay off debt or saved. 2. Time -- I think that if I worked only half days I would become somewhat lazy, most likely watching too much television.
In the meantime, I will continue to plug away at a job that does not satisfy me nor stimulates me. I will stay in my hamster cage running in the wheel, not going anywhere, not accomplishing anything.
Monday morning I woke up still not feeling well, so I stayed home from work. I didn't throw up again, but I still did not feel well. The fever had left, but the headache lingered. Unfortunately, Jon had to leave that morning for yet another backpacking trip. I cried knowing he wasn't there to take care of me.
As I laid on the couch all day watching episode after episode of Gilmore Girls I started to think about work. It was then that I knew I didn't want to work full time anymore. I opened Excel and looked at the spreadsheet I made estimated our monthly expenses and our estimated income we needed to pay those expenses. After taking out Jon's current income, the math works that I could make a third of what I'm making now and everything would be covered.
Now it's just a matter of whether I want to work part time at my current job or at a different job. I really need to talk to Jon about it too since it affects him. Most likely at my current job I wouldn't work part time until after I finished automating our CAMs (Common Area Maintenance), which is supposed to be done before the year is done...we'll see how that goes.
I know I probably won't leave this job until after the CAMs are automated. I guess I feel like I have to be here until that is done, since I did the manual CAMs this year and it would take too long to train someone else on that. So, I feel responsible for that; however, once I complete that I will be able to use that as a good example of my work.
As nice as the idea of working part time appeals to me, most likely I will continue working full time until I have kids for two reasons: 1. Money -- Extra money can be used to pay off debt or saved. 2. Time -- I think that if I worked only half days I would become somewhat lazy, most likely watching too much television.
In the meantime, I will continue to plug away at a job that does not satisfy me nor stimulates me. I will stay in my hamster cage running in the wheel, not going anywhere, not accomplishing anything.
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