Spinning in a Hamster Wheel

Sunday afternoon I was hit with the flu. It started out as a headache and developed into something worse. Eventually I was spending more time in the bathroom than I wanted. My loving husband graciously got cold wash cloths for me; he even put one in the fridge to get really cool. Once the one on my head was no longer cool he would switch it out.

Monday morning I woke up still not feeling well, so I stayed home from work. I didn't throw up again, but I still did not feel well. The fever had left, but the headache lingered. Unfortunately, Jon had to leave that morning for yet another backpacking trip. I cried knowing he wasn't there to take care of me.

As I laid on the couch all day watching episode after episode of Gilmore Girls I started to think about work. It was then that I knew I didn't want to work full time anymore. I opened Excel and looked at the spreadsheet I made estimated our monthly expenses and our estimated income we needed to pay those expenses. After taking out Jon's current income, the math works that I could make a third of what I'm making now and everything would be covered.

Now it's just a matter of whether I want to work part time at my current job or at a different job. I really need to talk to Jon about it too since it affects him. Most likely at my current job I wouldn't work part time until after I finished automating our CAMs (Common Area Maintenance), which is supposed to be done before the year is done...we'll see how that goes.

I know I probably won't leave this job until after the CAMs are automated. I guess I feel like I have to be here until that is done, since I did the manual CAMs this year and it would take too long to train someone else on that. So, I feel responsible for that; however, once I complete that I will be able to use that as a good example of my work.

As nice as the idea of working part time appeals to me, most likely I will continue working full time until I have kids for two reasons: 1. Money -- Extra money can be used to pay off debt or saved. 2. Time -- I think that if I worked only half days I would become somewhat lazy, most likely watching too much television.

In the meantime, I will continue to plug away at a job that does not satisfy me nor stimulates me. I will stay in my hamster cage running in the wheel, not going anywhere, not accomplishing anything.